How A Mother and Daughter Went From Being Enemies To Become Loved Ones
Before Falun Dafa came into our lives, my mother and I were enemies. We never seemed to get along. I was born just before the Chinese Cultural Revolution. My mother was very involved in social and Cultural Revolution activities and my birth only added to her already demanding schedule. Consequently, about forty days after my birth, my parents hired a wet-nurse in my grandfather’s home far away from Beijing. My parents visited me once a year. It seemed that this was just the beginning of our rocky journey of life…
At the age of five, my life started some major tumbling. After being in the boarding school in Beijing for a time I went with my mother to the Cultural Revolution camp in Hubei province. I got very sick in the camp and was sent to my grandmother’s house in the rural area of Shanghai. Finally, I was sent to my aunt’s house in Shanghai so I could attend elementary school. I endured many years of unfair treatment while living with my aunt. I was little and really needed my mother’s love and protection. I recall one year my mother came to visit me and soon after she arrived in Shanghai she was eager to see my grandmother. I missed her so much and hoped that she would excuse me from school for a few days so I could go with her to visit my grandma. It seemed to me that she really didn’t want to spend time with me. I watched her leave and as she got further away, my eyes filled with tears. I often wondered why no one including my own mother really cared for me. The world felt cold and heartless to me. Through out my youth, my mother and I rarely had any heart to heart conversations. When I was entered high school, my mother finally brought me back to Beijing to live with her. We were finally together but there was no harmony in our lives.
In 1985 I left China to come to United States to study. I felt like a bird flying out of a locked cage! I never wanted to live with my mother again. But after a while, my mother started to hint around that I should consider bringing her here. I really didn’t want to. Later on, she threatened to disown me if I didn’t apply for immigration papers for her. In 1992, she finally received her visa to come to stay in the United States. After she arrived in America, we could not talk to each other and were constantly arguing and bickering. A month later, the conflict was so great that I kicked her out. We would talk on the phone occasionally, but because she wasn’t financially independent our conversations were limited to her asking for help to pay bills that she had incurred. Even than, we could not keep the conversation civil. Finally, the situation was too much for me and I didn’t talk to her any more. In early 1995, I was getting married. Out of politeness, I invited her to East Coast to meet with my husband’s family and also to attend my wedding. We did not have much to say to each other. At the end of 1996 or the beginning of 97, she went back to China to visit. She brought me a book called “China Falun Gong” and told me that it was a very precious book. Because it came from my mother, I tossed it in the bathroom along with some other magazines. She said that this was not respectful and not a good idea. So instead I placed it on my bookshelf. I tried several times to read the book, but every time I picked up the book, I was not able to read it through. I felt there must be some ulterior motive behind my mother wanting me to read this book. Later, she brought me cassette tapes and even videos of Master Li’s lectures. I liked to listen to the tapes while I driving. Sometimes, I would listen to Master Li’s lecture on my commute to work and back. I thought it was very good, but I was still sure that mother and I could not possibly like the same thing! I simply could not like anything that she would like! So, I listened to the tapes with very critical ears searching for anything that would prove this point. Later in 97, we bought an old house that needed a lot of work. Some weekends, I would invite my mother to come help watch my son so my husband and I could do the remodeling. Through our remodeling activity, our relationship improved slightly.
In 1998, we moved to Oregon. My daughter was born right before Christmas. I invited my mother to come see her new granddaughter. Although our relationship was much better then, I still did not feel at ease when my mother visited. Sometimes, I would talk to her in an impolite manner or troublesome tone. But she did not retaliate as she usually would. She had put a small gift for everyone under the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. Christmas morning, we opened presents. When I opened mine, there was an envelope that contained $1000. My heart thumped. Not for the money but because this was the first time in my life, my mother gave me money expecting nothing in return. At the time, she was working for an embroidery shop in Seattle. It was a very hard job with low pay. This was her hard-earned money. She is over 65 and working and taking care of herself in a new country was not easy for her. I told her that I appreciated very much that she thought about me, but I was not able to accept her money. This event helped thaw the ice between us. The next morning, she needed to go back to work so I took her to the train station. As I quietly watched her walked away, for the first time in my life, I felt like we were really close. Falun Dafa really had a mysteriously powerful effect on her. The character changes I saw in my mother really enlightened me and encouraged me to study Dafa and became a practitioner.
In the beginning, I did not study the Fa very diligently. There was much interference such as my busy family life; a child that was constantly sick; a busy work schedule, but mostly I had a poor enlighten quality. Not until the end of 2000 did I understand my life’s purpose and why I ended up in Corvallis, Oregon. I believe I was sent here to help spread the Fa. So I started to hold workshops and established a local practice site. My mother was always very encouraging and helpful. Not long after I left Seattle, she moved to California. We do not have many opportunities to see each other, but our hearts are much closely connected now than ever before. We often talk on the phone about kids, life, work, and mostly about Dafa work. Sometimes, she mails me new books and new truth clarifying materials. Together, we work to promote Dafa activities. Sometimes, I have questions about certain issues, and I call her and exchange our thoughts and understanding of Fa. We both went Salt Lake City for the opening of the Winter Olympics to clarify the truth. Before I took off to Salt Lake City, I had a lot of things to settle at home and I didn’t take Send Forth Righteous Thoughts to heart. Consequently there were interferences. I got to Portland Airport early and before the plane took off, I checked my bag and wallet many times but could not find my driver’s license. As soon as the gate closed I found my license in my wallet but I missed my flight. I felt really terrible that I missed an opportunities to participate in the parade and the press conference. At the time, I did not realize that this was my failure of SFRT. After I arrived Salt Lake City, I told my mother the story. She asked: “You did not take sent forth righteous thoughts seriously lately?” I was awakened by her comments and thought that she saw things so clearly and deeply. Not long ago, her company went bankrupt and she lost her job. I asked if she needed financial help from me. She said that she was able to take care of herself and did not need my help. She said that it is a good thing because Teacher had arranged this time for her to do more Dafa work. A few months ago, She got hit by a car while riding a bike. She got up and let the person go without even asking for insurance information. She thought to herself that she is Dafa practitioner and she would be ok with Master Li’s protection. Of course, she was fine. I am so amazed at how different she is after becoming a Dafa practitioner!
Falun Dafa is truly powerful and mysterious. My mother and I owe our newly found relationship to Dafa and Teacher. It has changed us from enemies to loved ones. This reminds me of Teacher’s poem entitled “Melting in Fa:”
“The Buddha-light illuminates everywhere, and rectifies all abnormalities, Being diligent together on cultivation path, A bright future will be waiting ahead.”
I am deeply grateful to Teacher for bringing my mother to me and thank you all for letting me share this experience with you.